For the Inquisition!
We all love a bit of Dragon Age, don’t we? It’s one of the best fantasy RPG series out there, made by one of the best developers out there, and funded by one of the best publishers out there.
…well, the first one is right at least.
And for my money, Inquisition is the best of the three, and a big reason for that is the characters. They’re nearly all well written and fleshed out, with clear strengths and flaws, likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams.
And of course, you can see some of their boobies. That’s pretty neat.
Yes my friends, today I shall be ranking all of the Dragon Age Inquisition romance options from best to worst. A difficult task, which is twice as terrifying as usual knowing that I am now fully participating in the dreaded “Waifu Wars” but hey, we play the cards we’re dealt.
And I want to make this very clear from the start: This is all just one man’s opinion. This is a very subjective list, and I’m not trying to upset or hurt anyone.
That may seem like too heavy of a disclaimer, but people can get very protective over their beloved ones.
Oh, and of course major spoilers for Dragon Age: Inquisition. I wouldn’t recommend reading this list unless you’ve beaten the game, or never played it. But then again, if you’ve never played it you probably won’t have a clue what I’m talking about, so whatever…
Anyway, let’s get those dialogue boxes, stiff animations, and video game private parts ready because it’s time to talk Dragon Age Inquisition romance options!
Okay, yes you probably saw this coming, and yes I am being unoriginal, and yes there’s already more than enough hate for this character on the internet already, but still, Sera is a newt.
Now, I don’t hate her as much as I think a lot of people on the internet do, And I’m going to try to judge these characters based only on their romance options and not their actual personalities, but with Sera, It’s impossible. Her personality just seeps into every cutscene she’s in, like sweat into an open wound…
I mean, most of the time she’s not bad. You talk to her, have a bit of banter, keep things playful and lighthearted and then BAM! You get hit with a wave of childish and bitter angst because you didn’t’ 100% support her burning an old ladies house down!
It’s only after you stop and really think about Sera’s views and beliefs that you realise how completely unreasonable and hypocritical they are. She’s in the Inquisition for totally selfish reasons, has a surprisingly very backwards view on a lot of things, and worst of all you can’t even romance her as an Elf unless you completely denounce your religion, and if you don’t she’ll despise you, and act like you were the one who left her!
GODDAMIT, YOU’RE SO NEARLY LIKEABLE, SERA! JUST STOP BEING SO DUMB!
Basically, Sera is like a kid. She may have some of the good elements of youth, like a childlike wonder and whimsy, but she also gets all the shit stuff, like a huffy attitude, lots of tantrums, and the logic and reason of a goomba. All in all, she’s the worst Dragon Age Inquisition romance option.
That’s me. I think that.
But personally, I can’t stand the guy, although to be fair, his romance option isn’t that bad. It’s just generally hard to get him to like you at all. He has his moments of kindness and fairness that make him tolerable sometimes, but he’ll so often end up hating you unless you always do everything you can to support mages and elves, and never do anything fun…
His romance does bring out a better side of him though, and he does have some very sweet moments, especially in the trespasser DLC. But really, we all know why this dude is so low on this list of Dragon Age Inquisition romance options.
It’s because he’s a BIG IMMORTAL LIAR!
At the end of the game, we find out that Solas was actually an Elven god the entire time, he was only with the Inquisition to get a stupid orb, and he was the one who gave the orb to the main villain in the first place!
What the hell, bro!? Did our skinny elf sex mean nothing to you!?
So of course, this makes your entire romance with him feel much more fake, and kind of makes the player feel robbed if they really liked him. Again, there’s more depth to this all in the Trespasser DLC, and he does seem like he still loves the player, even after his identity is revealed. But he still goes ahead with his bastard evil plan no matter what you say or do, so who cares, I guess…
I tell ya, that slap I gave him felt way better after I learnt all this…
Ah, the Bull. The big brutish badass, with a sick eyepatch, a bunch of killer tats, and the biggest implied Holy Poker in the Inquisition.
Okay, so that’s never confirmed, but that’s what head-canon is for, people.
As a character, I actually really like Iron Bull. He’s a great source of comic relief, he’s not too hard to make happy, he gives a good insight into Qunari culture. And of course, he’s voiced by the man himself, Freddie Prince Jr.
You know you’ve got some big chad energy if Fred Jones does your dialogue.
But whilst I think the character is cool, I personally think his romance option is kind of meh. It all starts out very casual. You’re basically just bumping uglies and freaking out Cullen for a while until things get more serious. After you’ve spent enough time together, you eventually become more than just poke pals and basically seal the deal with a Dragon murder.
Like I said, not too hard to make happy.
And maybe it’s just me, but even after the relationship got serious I never really felt like the Inquisitor and Bull were fully in love. I mean, they have some good moments, but their relationship always felt more playful and impermanent to me than most others.
Maybe that’s just because Bull isn’t really the type of character that’s best suited for romance, or maybe that’s because he’s meant to be one of the “One Size Fits All” characters, who’ll take on any race or gender, but whatever.
Also, there’s the fact that he’ll betray you unless you’re nice to him, which is a bit of a pisser.
Still, his romance really isn’t bad, and he’s still fun to talk to, I just think the others are better.
Sorry, Bull. Thanks for the ride.
Oh, dear. This is the point where the torches may be lit, and the pitchforks may be sharpened, isn’t it?
Look, I know everyone absolutely adores Cassandra, and don’t get me wrong, I like her too. She’s courageous, honourable, feisty, and has some of the cutest and funniest moments in the entire game.
And her romance option is really good too! She initially rejects the Inquisitor, fighting off her own feelings in the process, because she believes he can’t be romantic enough for her, and she’s filled with self-doubt and worries about the future. This triggers a quest where you metaphorically and literally sweep her off her feet and prove that you love her for who she is on the inside.
It’s cute as shit, fam.
I genuinely really enjoy this Dragon Age Inquisition romance option, it’s just that personally, I prefer the others. And again, it’s hard to not take her personality into account when it’s shown so heavily in this questline. Again, I do like Cassandra, but she has some pretty blatant character flaws, like her stubbornness, bitterness, and occasional Karen-ish attitude.
I know every character has flaws, and they’re part of what makes them feel real, but personally I just don’t love Cassandra as much as the rest of the internet seems to. Nontheless, she’s a great character with an adorable romance option, and definitely brings a lot to the game as a whole.
Still mad at her for attacking Varric.
Cullen is basically the Commander Shepherd of Dragon Age. He’s the Inquisition’s commander, he has a strong sense of justice and honor, he has a strategic mind but still comes across as very human. He’s essentially the Inquisition’s soldier boy.
Not the one that sells bootleg consoles, though.
And his romance is really good! From the outset he can come across as quite a tough and militaristic character, but once you get him to open up he starts to show off his more bashful and romantic side, that makes him twice as interesting to me.
But what really sells this Dragon Age Inquisition romance is the subplot about red lyrium. Learning about his struggles with the stuff and trying to help him overcome them really made the romance more powerful, and brought on a decision about continuing to take it that’s actually pretty difficult to make.
Personally, I’m with Varric, though. That stuff is sketchier than 90 percent of my junk folder.
Despite some of his stronger opinions about Templars and Mages, Cullen is actually a very empathic and understanding character, and I like that the romance really shows that off. It really brings out the best in this character, and I think that’s what a good romance option should do. Show you a side of a character that you wouldn’t have seen otherwise.
Basically, Cullen is a good old fashioned lover boy.
He’s a badass and tough as nails Grey Warden, who’s kind, principled, relatable, and makes references to bags of dog shit!
If that’s boring, then most of the population are basically slugs.
And personally, I think his romance is one of the best in the game. Like I just said, a good romance option shows off a side of a character that you wouldn’t know about unless you smooshed booties.
And old Blackwall has probably the biggest character twist in the whole game. Well, second biggest, next to Solas basically being Elf Loki…
Turns out, Blackwall isn’t Blackwall at all. The real Blackwall was a Grey Warden who was killed by darkspawn, and who we knew as Blackwall was actually a guy called Thom Rainer, who took on Blackwall’s identity after he died.
I genuinely think this is one of the best twists in the whole game. It clouds everything you’ve seen Blackwall do or say, and offers a genuine moral dilemma. Because one the one hand he lied to the Inquisition and took over the life of a dead man to save his own skin, but he also did more than enough to redeem himself in the time since.
So what do you do? Forgive him? Exile him? Forget the whole business and go back to booty smooshing?
I know you don’t have to romance Blackwall to see all this, but in my opinion it makes the whole thing much more poignant, and for that, I love it, and I love him.
Even though he looks like he shaves his beard with a rusty shovel.
Well Josie is like the opposite of that.
It seems like this character was designed to be loved. She’s beautiful, kind, elegant, and genuinely the most adorable character in the entire game.
Well, maybe tied with Cole.
And Scout Harding.
And Corypheus, because it’s cute that he thinks he can FACE ME.
I may be biased on this one, since she was the first one I went for, but come on. This is one of the best Dragon Age Inquisition romance options. How can you not adore this lady? That little cheer she does followed by embarrassment when you get made Inquisitor is still one of the nicest moments in the whole damn game!
And her romance quests are really good too. You essentially have to stop an assasination attempt on her life, either by doing it diplomatically or violently. And then you have to have a full on sword duel with some noble ponce who thinks Josie belongs to him.
The only thing that prick deserves is syphilis…
All the while you’re figuring out more about her past as a bard, seeing her drop her formal attitude somewhat, and having some of the most heartwarming moments in the entire game.
I think it’s fair to say Josephine’s romance is the most wholesome and fairytale of the bunch, and you know what, that’s just fine with me.
Oh, and modders, stop getting rid of her mole!
I like her mole.
Oh come on, you saw this coming.
How could I not give the number one spot on a list about Dragon Age Inquisition romance to the man who, if he were real, would seriously make me reconsider my sexuality?
Everybody loves Dorian, and for damn good reason. He’s fun, charming, suave, and more chiseled and gorgeous than Ryan Gosling crossed with another Ryan Gosling.
And yet despite his constant sass and pampered personality he never once comes across as annoying or unlikeable. Despite his high opinion of himself he’s always a relatable and loveable character, who’s a lot deeper than he seems.
And it would be an insult to Dorian’s character if I didn’t do a double entendre joke about “Deeper” so…
Seriously, romancing Dorian is an absolute delight. The playful and comedic flirting slowly but surely turns into a genuinely heart-warming relationship, that really feels natural and loving. Plus, the troubles you run into with Dorian feel a lot more grounded and real compared to some of the more fantastical issues of the others.
Instead of secret identities or marriage duels, you have to deal with things like discrimination, gossip, and disaproval from parents. It makes the whole thing feel more truthful, and adds a lot of legitimacy to the relationship in my opinion.
Basically, Dorian is the full package. He’s a wonderful character, with a meaningful romance questline, and at the end of the day, that’s all you can ask for.
Well, you could always ask for Scout Harding to have a proper romance option because WHY THE HELL DIDN’T SHE ALREADY HAVE ONE!?
So there you have it. Our favorite Dragon Age Inquisition romance options explained. What do you think about our choices and who did you romance in your playthrough?
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