Strength 18: As strong as a Minotaur. Capable of breaking wood with his bare hands.
Dexterity 18: Quicker than a lion. Capable of hitting small targets at a distance.
Constitution 18: As enduring as a Polar Bear. Able to stay awake for days on end.
Intelligence 18: Smarter than a succubus. Genius-level intelligence.
Wisdom 18: Almost as wise as a unicorn. Often looked to as a source of wisdom or council.
Charisma 7: The beauty of a troll. Generally unpleasant to be around.

So there we go. A well rounded lightning-fast behemoth genius sociopath. Time to set out into the world.

And So it Begins

My foster father Gorion has tasked me with preparing to leave Candlekeep suddenly. He has not provided any inclination as to why the need for haste, but it clearly cannot be THAT important because I still have errands to run before we go.

Our first steps into the world of Baldur’s Gate are identical to those that so many others have taken throughout the decades. Our first stop is going to be the inn, owned by a sop named Winthrop. The most important thing here is to pick up a Short Bow. This will come in handy when we need to perform the invaluable negotiation tactic of “shoot them in the face.”

Now that we have our trusty bow, it is time to pick up one of our errands. There is a self-important mage by the name of Firebead Elvenhair who needs our help.

To get the scroll simply take a quick jaunt out of the inn directly to the south-east. You will enter the inner cloister. Hug the south wall, go past some chanters (we will get to them later) and talk to Tethtoril. He will give you the scroll for Mr. Elvenhair, and you can simply head back and turn it in.

So, with the scroll returned, Mr. Elvenhair has deigned to cast protection of evil on us. Luckily we are neutral or else the spell might have had some adverse effects on us. It is time to acquire some extra capital for our trip. To the second floor of the inn we go. There are a few locked dressers in rooms with sleeping people which you can lockpick and pilfer. Just don’t steal from the people who are awake.

It is a wonder that some people manage to keep their belongings at all. Almost none of the inn’s rooms have a door, and most tenants leave their belongings in easily picked dressers. Largely there is nothing of value, but of the room directly to the right of the stairs has a Star Diamond inside of it. Winthrop paid me 1000 gold for a gem stolen from his own guest. Who is the humorless one now!?

Airhead Phlydia

With this task in mind, it is time for us to head off to the east. There are a couple of tutors around that we can largely ignore unless you are new to the game. Take a quick stop into the Priest’s Quarters. There is a man inside who requires the deft diplomacy of arrow to the face. Make sure you introduce him to your weapon of choice, loot the place and leave.

It appears that carting around a book was a life-altering experience for our character. But we have other tasks that still require our attention. Head southeast from Dreppin to meet up with a Watcher named Hull, who has yet another errand for us to accomplish.

Haggard Watcher Hull

The barracks is located on the south side of Candlekeep, but we have another small thing to do beforehand. Just north of hull is a storehouse and outside is a dwarf named Reevor. It seems he has a rat problem he needs taken care of.

Luckily, I have summoned my trusty familiar “generic rabbit” and as we all know, rabbits are vicious killing machines without equal. Get into the storehouse and lay waste to the rats.

Honestly, if you die to rats in this game, you should probably consider uninstalling. I would also like to point out, there are like 6 cats in the storehouse, further reinforcing my belief that cats are useless (I don’t actually believe this. Cats are adorable). Talk to Reevor, get your reward, and head south.

If you want, you can take a quick stop into the infirmary and pick up a health potion, though you don’t have to. Heading west will take us to the bunkhouse where we will find our good friend… other miscellaneous attacker. Like the first attacker, introduce him to the business end of your weapon of choice, loot everything and head out. Finally, it is time to get into the barracks.

Your first stop is to Hull. Shove the sword in his stupid greasy face. Interestingly, he lets you know a tidbit of information of what is going on in the world… there is an iron crisis. This will become more important later on in the game, but it is neat that the developers introduced this major plot point in a relatively unassuming side quest.

Anyways, head up to Dreppin and drop off the potion, thus saving the entire keep’s milk supply. Head to the southern section of the inner cloister to see an acapella troupe.

Insufferable Imoen

Once you have had enough sing song time, head to the main steps of the tower and meet up with an undeniably irritating character. Imoen.

So, once you resist the urge to knife Imoen in the throat, head up the stairs and talk to Gorion. He will tell you that you are in danger, though judging by the pitiful attempts made by the two assassins today, you would probably be just fine. He lets you know that you will be leaving immediately, so if there is anything to wrap up, you should do it now. There is no time like the present, so let’s go.

End of Part I

If you’ve enjoyed this, you can hop on to the second part of the series: